Considering giving speed dating a try, but have questions or reservations on speed dating as an older woman? No worries. These speed dating rules for older women should answer your questions and help you get out there and enjoy this fun and exciting way to meet men.
Older women are trying more and more ways to meet men than ever before. Speed dating is just one option that presents an opportunity for them to find love or companionship. More and more cities are holding speed dating venues to reflect the ever growing demand for this age demographic.
The standing joke is of course, “Speed Dating for Seniors” “Are you kidding me”. The bottom line is that older women (and men) are taking the time to sit in on smaller events where the numbers of the opposite sex are less and therefore it is less overwhelming or confusing to speak to potential partners albeit at a slower pace. They are attending more than one event to even out the odds of not going to larger events.
What is Speed Dating?
Speed dating first made its debut in 1998 in Beverly Hills. It is basically a series of first dates on fast forward that gives multiple people the opportunity to meet in a short amount of time. Depending on the event, these speed dates last anywhere from about 3 to 9 minutes.
How Does Speed Dating Work?
Each event may vary slightly, but for most part speed dating goes as follows:
- Each participant receives a name tag, pamphlet, and pencil when they register;
- The women are usually seated first; each at their own table;
- A male speed dater will take a seat at each table and a bell or clinking glass will start the date;
- After 3 to 9 minutes, the sound will indicate the end of the date and the men will move to the next table;
- The process repeats until all singles have had a chance to have a speed date.
At the end of the event, daters can write down who they’d like to see again and if two daters have listed each other’s names, the organizer of the event will forward their contact details to both parties to take it from there.
Speed dating for older women is really no different than for women of younger ages. To make the most out of the experience, you want to begin by choosing an event that is geared towards women in your age group. Thankfully, just because an event is for older women, doesn’t mean that you are limited to meeting older men. With a little homework, you can find events for men and women over forty or over fifty and you can also on occasion find speed dating events for older women and the younger men that love them. Mind you, some of these events enjoy gratuitous use of the word “cougar”, but it’s all in fun and worth not letting it irk you if you prefer a younger man.
Choosing an age-appropriate event is the only real rule of speed dating, aside from the obvious ones like not being rude or abusive. There are some tips that will help you get the most out of speed dating:
Embrace your age and own it!
Other daters at the event know what they’ve signed up for, so don’t feel you have to lie about your age. Men who want to date younger women won’t waste their time at a speed dating event for older women. If he’s there, then it’s because what’s on offer is something he’s interested in.
The men sitting across from you will know nothing about you and not be given a whole lot of time to get to know you. Know what your biggest selling points are and share them. Talk about the things that make you tick, be that your career or your love of animals. Be brief and gracious so that you avoid looking full of yourself.
Make your minutes count by being prepared with deal breaker questions
Think about what your deal-breakers are when it comes to men. Hate a man that smokes or drinks? Bored by men whose ideal day off involves sitting on the couch watching sports? Need a man to be well-read? Think about these things before the event and bring them up during your speed date so you know if you should bother seeing them again.
Ask questions that require more than “yes” and “no” answers.
You want to make those minutes count, so ask questions that will get him talking. You don’t want him wasting those precious minutes babbling however so make your questions require a to the point reply that will give you what you need for your decision.
Don’t interrogate the poor guy.
Yes, you want to learn as much as you can in those limited minutes, but a firing round of questions can come off more like an interrogation than a genuine interest in getting to know someone. Besides, speed dating can be intimidating as it is without having someone barking a series of questions at you from across a table and cocktail! Ask your questions thoughtfully and give him the time to answer before moving onto your next question.
Speed dating is meant to be fun and being closed off or cold will defeat the purpose of the event, which is to try to meet someone to date. Smile and relax so that men feel comfortable opening up to you. Leaning forward and making eye contact as they speak will show that you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say, which in turn will make them more comfortable talking about themselves.
Dress to impress, not to seduce.
Women of all ages make the mistake of thinking that they need to wear something revealing and overtly sexy to attract men at these events. If you’re just looking to hook up with someone and have a fling, then by all means undo that extra button or two, but if you’re looking for respect and adoration, as well as attraction, then you’ll want to keep it stylish and subtly sexy. A V-neckline doesn’t need to plunge to flatter and show off your shape and clothes that skim the body will always be more flattering than clothes that cling for dear life. Wear something that you feel beautiful and confident in that you won’t be tugging and pulling at all night.
Don’t be afraid to flirt.
If someone tickles your fancy and you feel a little spark then go ahead a flirt a little bit! Flirting is fun and makes you and the person you’re flirting with feel good, which can lighten the mood and help him to open up, as well as pique his curiosity and interest. No need to go too over-the-top with the sexual innuendos; just a bat of the lashes and a compliment will go a long way.
To Sum it up…
Speed dating is a fun and exciting way to meet men regardless of your age. Look for an event that you feel has something to offer you in your current stage of life and have fun with it. The only risks you’ll regret are the ones that you didn’t take.
If you start to feel overwhelmed by having to move to too many tables than for the next speed dating event you plan to attend, look for one that is smaller in size to lessen the stress.
Never pressure yourself into choosing a man because you have gone through so many choices at speed dating events. You deserve to be happy and be with a guy who will make you so. If you don’t find who you are looking for at the speed dating event than sign up for another one and another one until you do find the right guy.
If you decide that speed dating isn’t working for you after several tries than move on to online dating where you will have a lot more choices and not have to feel uncomfortable in his presence until he meets the criteria you’ve established for your online dating reviews. Than you can meet face to face and will feel more comfortable after being able to talk online for a while and have all your questions answered.
The most important rule is to try and not give up when looking for that special guy whether online or in a speed dating event. After all making mistakes and failing are the two prerequisites for success in anything we do in life.
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