Women are genetically programmed to go ahead and want to meet a man, get married, make babies, and live happier ever after whereas for men, things tend to favor a slightly different pattern. Primitive as it may sound; men are genetically programmed to copulate with as many women as possible in order to ensure the survival of his species, his gene pool, and his name. You can argue against that as much as you want but that’s pretty much how it is. In order to get his attention and ensure that he commits to being with you for the long haul, you need to learn to understand just how commitment works for men. Let’s get started!
Guys want you to want THEM…
They don’t want you to want what they can offer you and by this we mean things like a sparkly rock on that special finger, the prospect of the pitter patter of tiny feet, big house with huge windows and a nice white picket fence. Women are often in love with the idea of commitment, sometimes even more in love with the idea than the man. A man knows this, which is why so many of them tend to run from commitment and dread any talk of it. A man won’t be interested in committing if he senses that you’re more into the idea of finding and marrying “a guy” as opposed to wanting him specifically. If you’ve got your own agenda rather than just appreciating his company, he’ll know. When you learn to really appreciate spending time with him rather than just rushing things along and turning him into your perfect man, you’ll have a much happier time of things.
Three dates does not a commitment make…
Women often date like they’re on a race to snag a man. Come the third date and she thinks it is somehow implied that you are in an exclusive committed relationship, but that’s not always the case at all. Men, as we stated in the intro, date differently than women and that includes how quickly they fall for someone. Sure, lust and the excitement of something new can make a guy fall hard at the start, but that still doesn’t mean he’s thinking long-term. This discrepancy leads to misunderstandings and heartache for women while the men are left scratching their heads and wondering why she’s all upset! Commitment isn’t just a given after a set number of dates and it should never just be assumed that spending a lot of time together means a man is in a committed relationship. It may take a guy weeks or months of dating before he catches up and this doesn’t make him a bad guy, but rather just a guy.
Guys don’t see sex and relationships as the same thing…
This is a very important fact that every girl should know—the sooner the better. When guys decide to have sex with you, it’s an instant reaction based on nothing but their basic urges. They don’t need to have warm and fuzzy feelings for a girl to hop into bed with her and just because a man takes you to bed doesn’t mean that he’s committing to you. A relationship is something that takes a little bit more working-out for him; a little bit more time. Even the sweetest and most romantic night of passion, complete with gentle touches and loving words, and a magical afterglow doesn’t mean for him what it might for you. A man seems far better able to separate sex and love and, like we stated at the start, is hardwired to want sex with several women if he can get it.
If he wants a commitment, he will tell you…
Men are really simple creatures and though they may not think the way you do, they’re not a big mystery. Even the shyest of men will make his intentions known if he is ready for a commitment. If he has reached a point where he wants you in his life and doesn’t want to be with other women, then you can bet your pretty little tush that he will make it clear. If he wants you to see each other exclusively, he will make it known. If he wants to move in with you or marry you, then he will tell you so. It may take him longer to get there than it takes you, but you can rest assured that a man who genuinely wants to commit will commit.
You can’t force a commitment…
Ultimatums, leaving pictures of engagement rings in his briefcase and other tactics to try to make him commit aren’t going to help. You cannot force a man to give up all others for only you if he is not ready yet. If you push, his instinct is to push back rather than cower down. And would you want a man to be with you because you made him? Men will not take kindly to bullying or manipulation and would much sooner commit to a woman who gives him the time and space to decide for himself that he wants only her.
Commitment works differently for men and contrary to popular belief; men do long for a loving relationship with the right woman. This misconception that men can’t commit or don’t want to is simply not true and comes from women not understanding how commitment works for men.
To sum it up…
Men work on a different pace and schedule than women. Women want to get started on the happily-ever-after as quickly as possible once they find someone they like, whereas men need more time to get to that place and see things that far ahead. This doesn’t make them incapable of commitment by any stretch though. It just means that they don’t act on their emotion and instead take more time and thought to get there than women do, and trying to force things along will only backfire and make him run the other way.
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- The 14 things you need to do to make him fall in love
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- Win over his friends and family - the key to his adoration